Recipe for stupidity
The recipe:
Large ambition – you can’t properly turn your life into a sure-fire wreck without this bad boy. Substitutes are avarice, greed and self-righteousness. Ambition tastes the best.
Defunct Superchiasmatic Nuclei – It’s the portion of brain that translates the light permeating your lids into the retina into a chemical reaction which helps facilitate circadian rhythms. Basically, if it’s broken, your body has a poor sense of when to sleep and when to wake. Substitutions are coffee, drugs (any variety, the more illegal, the more effective), or odd addictions to Adult Swim programming. Addiction to role playing games overwhelms the recipe turning it from stupidity to useless feces.
Ability – there really is no substitute. If you don’ t have ability, you’ll get stuck on just a few projects at a time! That really screws things up. You need ability so you’ll attempt something in the order of .. well.. that’s the rest of the recipe.. so, just hold on there pardner’.
Mix these all in a large bowl of puberty. You’ll know when it’s ready. It will tell you, in fact demand.
Spread the batter thinly over the projects you’d like to see accomplished. What’s that? You’ve got a big chuck of project and you can’t evenly cover it? Don’t even think about breaking it down! Add water and some more defunct SCN. It’s pretty common for most folks to throw in a few drugs here! Oddly, alcohol can really help here, too. Be careful, too much will ruin the batch!
You know you’ve got it down when you have a baking sheet approximately 10 feet by 25 feet covered with about 150 or more hopes and dreams you thought you could accomplish last year and the thin smell of failure starts to linger in the air.
Let that sit out for a few days. You’ll probably end up with some role playing games the first few times, but with practice and guilt, you’ll have procrastination crackers and a crumbled few achieved objectives! It goes nice with a side of diploma…. hopefully.